criticisms, dilemmas, and understandings

the moment we are criticised, the moment we are embarrased in public, our brain tells us to response in a negative manner. it communicates a defense mechanism similar to a physical threat, for our integrity is indeed being threatened. we build up anxiety, a need for vengeance, or maybe a response of anger. what do these do for us? the first causes unnecessary stress on our already overstimulated selves. the second can only force us to harbor feelings of hatred towards this person who you were threatened by. we gain nothing positive by actively taking vengeance. the third allows the negative energy to simmer within us, causing a buildup of negative memories, feelings, and energy that may burst at any moment. it is the most unfortunate thing when this burst of all your pent-up negative energy hurts someone that you care about. how else may we react then?

it is incredibly helpful to process these feelings. when we are embarrased, we must ask, "what did I do to cause this?" if we did something to trigger this, we must look within outselves and see if we can alter our intentions or actions. this is wholly possible and necessary if we are to prevent further negative threats on ourselves. if we were not the trigger of this circumstance, than we must realize that we could do nothing to prevent this from happening. in such a case, it is a great virtue to understand that we cannot let the negative energy of another person affect us. at the least, we should not take it personally. on the contrary, if we react in a way that allows that person to see how a positive outlook can change the way one lives in this world, then we have turned a potentially disastrous situation into a blessing, into a mitzvah. for we have opened up someones eyes to a beautiful thing, compassion and understanding.

while we may not agree with another persons' beliefs or behavior, it is essential that we allow that person to express themselves, and then to show them the love and compassion that we want given to us.

baruch hashem